Much of my practice is coaching Managing Partners, so believe me when I tell you I’ve heard and seen it all.  This includes helping MPs to deal with the many different tactics their Partners and Associates might throw at them.  On reflection, it struck me that sometimes, managing a law firm is a bit like managing a playground – but with bigger stakes.  Often, the offender might be a senior lawyer, with a big book of business.  Law firm leaders might be fearful that enforcing certain behavioural standards with these individuals might run the risk of losing them. Such law firms should consider the potential cost of allowing such behaviours to continue at a time when it is exceedingly difficult to attract and hold onto talent.

It’s not like these childish tactics are stealth: they tend to be painfully obvious to those observing them. Which means that not dealing with them is akin to endorsing those behaviours.   See if you recognize any of these examples:

  • Going off on a tangent: This is a frequently used method by lawyers who want to be divisive. A big picture issue is being discussed, and a lawyer will go off on a tangent and get the room arguing about the various details of that tangent. This can throw off the room into believing a decision can’t be made until the tangent is cleared up.  This is a great way for a naysayer to kill an idea, or at least temporarily suspend it.  Law firm leaders allow it to happen for fear that quashing it will appear uncollaborative, or feel like censorship.  A strong leader can tell whether a tangent discussion poses a legitimate issue, or is a tactic to obfuscate the larger issue.
  • “We’re really on the same page”. I’ve worked with lawyers who, in their need to be seen as a leader, insist that parties are aligned no matter how polarized they really are.  This Pollyanna tactic can come across as dismissive and disrespectful.  I like Venn diagrams.  It helps to show disputants that they might share a common purpose or belief or concern or goal, and then to build from there.  But I believe that leaders who ignore differences lack respect for each side’s concerns.  In my mediation and negotiation training, I learned that sometimes, we have to allow the Phoenix to rise from ashes. In other words, we have to be honest about what’s not working, so that we can then focus on how to make it better.
  • “You’re just not ready”. In coaching literally thousands of Associates over the years, I’ve heard from many of them stories about being held back in various ways.  Perhaps it was in running a file on their own, taking on client management, even moving into the Partnership.  When asked for more information around the decision, they are told that it was hard to explain but the firm just knew the lawyer wasn’t ready.  Or that they didn’t have quite the right attitude.  Or that their tone with others was problematic.   In my elementary school days, there was a game called Peter Peter.   One student would go through a series of hand movements and wording that they challenged the second student to replicate. No matter how accurately this is done, the second student was told they didn’t do it right.  In reality, there was no way to win.  The point of the game was to frustrate the second student. The fact is, without clear instructions, guidelines and timely and fair assessments, Associates will feel like that student who can never win.  Worse, they feel set up to fail, as if the firm is relinquishing any responsibility for their success.  A law firm should know how to get an Associate ready for the next challenge, and should be providing them with regular feedback so the Associate can adjust as needed.  Being ready or not should never be a surprise, or an excuse.  And the blame should probably be with the law firm.
  • Mirror moments. When a weak individual, who also has power, is performing badly, and they know it and feel they can’t do anything about it, they might accuse others of their own frailties. We’re seeing this now in American politics, we see this with young siblings, or students on a playground.  The offending party is often called a bully.  But I’m sure you’ve seen it in law firms on occasion.  I know I have. When a bully says you are lying, cheating, or have no morals, chances are they are talking about themselves.  I call these mirror moments because we would ideally hold up a mirror to their face so they can yell at the right person.  A wise leader thinks long and hard about how they want to describe others, and what they want to accuse them of.  Before you speak, ensure that this isn’t your own mirror moment.   And when lawyers in your firm are accusing others of what they, clearly, are guilty of themselves, call them out.
  • “She did it first”. If you have kids, you’ve heard this excuse for bad behaviour. Unfortunately, if you’re a Managing Partner, you’ve probably also heard this.  It means “I admit that what I did was wrong but as I wasn’t the first person to do it, I should be excused”.  This is not a legitimate excuse for an adult, or a professional.   Yet I’ve seen many firms hold back on consequences because they buy into the idea that a lawyer may have develop a fall sense of security knowing they weren’t the first to make a particular mistake. By allowing bad behaviour to go unchecked, we in fact endorsing that behaviour.  And that’s the case for the first, third or twentieth person guilty of that behaviour.  Intelligent people should know when they are behaving badly (or questionably).  On the other hand, firm leadership should have established an open environment whereby individuals who are unsure of whether a behaviour is acceptable or not should feel free to ask that question.

This is just an example of some of the child-like behaviours and responses I see in law firms.

I much prefer law firms that act like a profession, filled with professionals who want to work in an environment of mutual respect and support.  In such firms, tactics and games aren’t used, but they also aren’t tolerated.  I’ve heard that organizations that brag about culture usually don’t have any.  I don’t believe that.  In my experience, firms that broadcast their culture tend to live by those values.  It becomes obvious, and embarrassing, when they don’t live up to those values.

Don’t be afraid to clarify, and stand by, who you are with ALL members of the firm.  Otherwise, the exceptions might become your new firm values and culture.

Heather Gray-Grant is a business strategist, marketing expert and executive coach for law firms, lawyers and administrators.  She can be reached at heather@heathergraygrant.com