A good portion of my coaching- from Managing Partners to individual lawyers – is about helping them to identify and fix areas of self-sabotage. This is particularly the case when they are faced with strong challenges, or issues they consider to be a threat. These moments can take them into their egos faster than you can say “how dare you”, and causes them to react without thought, often in ways that are the antithesis of their values.
It is incredibly time-consuming, after those un-strategic moments, to have to then repair relationships and rebuild trust. I’d like to propose a different method of dealing with moments of crises: it’s called the “pause”.
When you find yourself agitated and potentially reactive to negative events or people around you, stop yourself from lashing out. Instead, take a pause with your mind and your words. Acknowledge to yourself that you’ve been triggered, but determine that you will not react. Instead, think about the values that guide your life (which means you’ll have had to create that list to begin with). Then determine how best to proceed within those values.
By way of example, a mentee has delivered sloppy work to you. This makes you angry, but one of your values is that of being a teacher. The teacher in you won’t yell. Instead, the teacher will tell the mentee that while the document is a good start, there are six errors that will need to be found and corrected before they give you a revised copy back. You might even ask them there and then to identify the six errors with you.
The pause will give you time to realign your actions with your values. It will help to ensure that however you behave next, it will be true to who you are and how you want to be seen.
Our reputations are in part based on our personal brand – values practiced over and over again. These values describe not what you will achieve (those are goals), but how you will lead your life. Think about the lawyers you most admire. My guess is that you can name the values by which they conducted themselves. When you can do this, you are looking at a brand.
Law firm leaders can operate from their personal brand/values, or those of the firm they represent.
Whether you’re a law firm learning to live your brand and vision through a strategic plan, or an individual trying to establish and live up to your personal brand, the real test will be in how you handle the more challenging moments. Focus this year on taking a pause to stop reaction, think about your values, and then act in line with your brand. And if you need help in building a strategic plan or personal brand in part, give me a call.
Heather Gray-Grant is a business strategist, marketing expert and executive coach for law firms, lawyers and administrators. She can be reached at heather@heathergraygrant.com